Tool Rental at Home Depot

Yesterday we call our local Home Depot and ask if they have a trencher (ditch witch) available for the next day.  They tell me that they do but it is broken, so we call a second Home Depot.  This one has one, so far so good.  Today we arrive to pick it up and as we pull up, I can see it sitting outside in the cage, things are still going well!  Once inside, the girl behind the counter (read that again carefully, the comma is there!) tells us that this is not her department, she is just filling in for someone else.  She cannot find the trencher anywhere in the system.  Several phone calls are made.  The head guy has left the store to do "some shopping" for some sort of upcoming promotion.  The "number two" guy appears to be M.I.A. as well.  After a good half hour she is able to locate the "Number three" guy.  He manages finds it in the computer and proceeds to write up the rental agreement.  I'm beginning to think we may actually be able to get some work done today!

We load the trencher into the van.  This sucker is heavy and unwieldy.  If you have ever tried to load up a rototiller, its like that only worse.  Just then "number two" pulls up and says, to the "number three" guy "Hey, that does not work, it came back yesterday, the guy said it kept cutting out"  Fuck me!  We unload the trencher, hereafter to be know as the P.O.S.  Guys "two" and "Three" have a pow-wow and decide that they can fix the P.O.S. in no time.  Okay, are you sure?  "Yep, no problem, give us half an hour.  Hesitantly we agree and decide to go get something for lunch and come back in a half hour or so.

After a quick bite at Subway, we return to broad smiles all around, "its all fixed, we tested it out and it's running fine".  They start it up and it does indeed start on the first pull!  So we load it up a second time.  You may wonder why we load it up, instead of letting them do it.  I like my van and try very hard to keep it pristine, somehow I don't think that numbers "two" and "Three" could give a shit about my van, so... we end up loading it again.

Finally, off to the job!  We back into the driveway only to find that our customers have parked their BMW X-5 right where we need to unload.  No big deal, they are older and he is having some health issues, I have come to expect this (The parking where we need to work, not the older, sick part)  Mrs. Homeowner opens a second story window and tosses me the keys and asks if I wouldn't mind moving the car.  I certainly don't, its got to be faster than waiting for her to put socks and shoes on and coming downstairs.  After a bit of vehicle jockeying we unload the P.O.S.  Holy shit, I swear their back yard was not that steep when we did the estimate!  Now picture this:  The ditch witch weighs around 325 pounds and while it has two tires it also has what looks like a post hole auger mounted sideways and the digging bar, a 5" wide 24" long chainsaw looking thing protruding from the front.  Pulling this P.O.S up a slope that would be at least a single black diamond ski slope was like try to drag two fully grown dead guys up the hill in a wheelbarrow with no wheel.

Once at the summit, after a short break, I pull the starter cord and to our delight it fires right up on the first pull! Finally, we can get some work done!  I engage the trencher and begin.  2" into soil, it stops digging.  Even though we know what the result will be, we make several more attempts to no avail... The P.O.S. is broken.

Going down the ski slope it is easier to keep the P.O.S. on its wheels.  Bringing it to a halt on the other hand is a whole different story.  I quickly decide I had better let it "come up" on its now motionless 5" wide, 24" long protrusion before getting to the driveway.  The trencher dug a 4" deep trench for about 10".  Perfect! It works twice as well when it is not running!  It did come to a halt before damaging the driveway, which by the way the day was going, I fully expected.

We load it back up, drive back to Home Depot, Unload it, bring it in, explain the problem to "Number Two"  This was his reply:  "Yeah, that's the same problem the guy yesterday was having"

...and I wonder why I drink!